Review: Angels & Demons (2009)

[Scott Mendelson]

Angels & Demons
2009
138 minutes
Rated PG-13

by Scott Mendelson

Angels & Demons is one of the more cheerfully dumb thrillers I've seen
in a good long while. Every moment is more preposterous than the next,
and after a brief period, the absurdity becomes oddly comforting. It's
a lovely looking film, with authentic looking locations and a fair
number of character actors who are obviously trying to replenish their
Roth IRAs. It's not a good movie, but its one of the best kind of bad
movies - a trashy pulp fiction that wholly embraces its own
shoddiness.

A token amount of plot - Following the theft of a groundbreaking piece
of anti-matter, and the kidnapping of the top four contenders in line
to succeed the newly dead Pope, the Vatican calls in renowned 'Harvard
Symbologist' Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks, with less hair, less gut, and
more humor this time around). Although the church didn't care much for
his last insertion into church politics (they too found it self-
serious, too long, and dreadfully boring), they need his help none the
less. Now Langdon and Dr. Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer) have only five
hours to decipher the locations of the missing Cardinals as well as
the location of the anti-matter, which has been made into a bomb that
will wipe out Vatican City at the stroke of midnight.

While this fast-moving film is technically 'better' than The Da Vinci
Code, that's basically like stating that a firing squad is more
merciful than hanging. Both use pseudo religious legend to pretty up
glorified Hardy Boys mystery stories. What makes this sequel an
improvement is that director Ron Howard is (slightly) less afraid to
acknowledge the silliness of the original novel. Unlike The Da Vinci
Code, Angels & Demons did not have to be treated like a sacred text,
with all the reverence accorded to such beloved works of literature.
The inclusion of the infamous 'Illuminati' society is a welcome touch.
They are always terrific go-to guys for mysterious skulduggery, mainly
because 'Illuminati' is a really cool name for a super secret
organization of evildoing. Who wouldn't want to say that they belong
to an organization called the Illuminati?

Much of the running time still involves Langdon glancing at a random
painting or symbol and deducing incredibly complicated schemes. Think
of that early scene in the 1966 Batman movie where Batman and Robin
deduce who's behind the big scheme ("It happened at sea... sea? C for
Catwoman!") and you have an idea of what this entire movie's
investigative process is like. Over and over again, Langdon turns coal
into diamonds, allowing the heroes to race to the very spot where the
next Cardinal is set to be murdered. Everyone else basically sits back
and reacts, although Ayelet Zurer has much more to do than Audrey
Tautou did in The Da Vinci Code. Refreshingly, at no point does Hanks
pull a helpless Zurer along as they race to or from danger.

Stellan Skarsgard does little more than scowl and occasionally impede
progress (no wonder he recently exclaimed that the author of the
original books, Dan Brown, is a pretty terrible writer). Nikolaj Lie
Kaas makes a pretty compelling antagonist until he is forced to
deliver a trite monologue in a speaking voice that isn't nearly as
cool as it should be (parents be warned, this is a far more violent
and gruesome picture than The Da Vinci Code, and it's probably the
least justified PG-13 since Vantage Point). Ewan McGregor has some
nice moments as an empathetic priest torn between duty and apparent
morality, although his climactic actions form the most unintentionally
hilarious moment since Sam Elliot and Nicolas Cage drag-raced at the
end of Ghost Rider.

Although Angels & Demons is a more cinematic story than the first
picture, it is not enough of an improvement to merit continuing the
series. The film is still about twenty minutes too long and still
takes itself just a little too seriously. While there is less
reverence this time around, Ron Howard and company still seem afraid
to completely embrace the tawdry and trashy dime-store nature of Dan
Brown's adventure novels. In the end, Angels & Demons is 'so dumb the
con of man', which is better than The Da Vinci Code, which was 'so
dull the con of man'.

Grade: C+