Review: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (2009)

[Scott Mendelson]

Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past
2009
100 minutes
Rated PG-13

by Scott Mendelson

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is a relatively okay movie, even while at
its core it's pretty unremarkable. It is well acted and stylishly
shot, with a brisk pace that only lags just a bit in the middle act.
But it is at heart a simplistic story that purports that most people
who make the choice to not have a conventional life (marriage, kids,
two-car garage) are motivated not by personal choice but by deep-
seated emotional scars. That may be the case for some, but couldn't we
at least once have a film about a confirmed bachelor who gets to
remain a bachelor by the film's climax, even if he has to become a
somewhat better person?

The plot, in brief - Conner Meed (Matthew McConaughy) is a big-time
fashion photographer and a full-time lothario. With a somewhat
cartoonish love-em and leave-em philosophy, he embarks to his
brother's wedding not with joy but merely family obligation. After
arriving and making an ass out of himself in front of his family, the
bride's family, and his childhood sweetheart (Jennifer Garner), he is
visited by the ghost of his uncle (Michael Douglas) who advises him
that he must change his promiscuous ways or risk being alone forever.
What follows is a textbook variation on Charles Dickens's A Christmas
Carol, as Conner is visited by three ghosts representing relationships
past, present, and future. As expected, childhood trauma is revealed,
secret motivations and fears are uncovered, and Conner realizes that
he is controlled not by his libido but by his fears.

On the surface level, the film more or less works. Everyone in the
cast is game and the film looks lovely. What's most impressive is the
fact that the women in the film are actually allowed to be funny. As
Dr. Jenny Perotti, Jennifer Garner is not just 'the childhood
sweetheart who Conner pushed away', but a completely charming and
humorous character of her own accord. In fact, it is a flaw of the
film that she seems too smart and world-weary to still have feelings
for the dope who cruelly left her, and her exceptional chemistry with
another bachelor at the wedding (Daniel Sunjata) doesn't help the
movie's grand schemes. Lacey Chambert's blushing bride is relatively
amusing, with the amount of Bridezilla moments kept to a bare and
reasonable minimum. In what could have been a stock role, Noureen
DeWolf gives Conner's thankless secretary a sharp personality and a no-
bullshit demeanor (it helps that she's arguably the only woman in the
film not drawn to the cad). Emma Stone gets laughs as the 'past-tense
ghost', the sixteen-year old nerd who was Conner's first conquest.
Best of all is Anne Archer as the mother of the bride, who gets one of
the film's best scenes during a warm flirtation moment with
McConaughy. Unlike many comedies, the women actually get just as many
funny lines and just as much personality as the men.

Also helping things is the low-key nature of the plot. With the
exception of one painfully contrived scene involving a wedding cake,
the film avoids over-the-top set pieces and pratfalls. Even the climax
of the film refuses to take place at an interrupted wedding or an
airport, but in a location irrelevant to the situation at hand. And
said climax involves not a public confessional but a quiet
conversation that is witnessed by only a few others. Furthermore, the
relationship between Conner and his brother (Breckin Myer) is
surprisingly thought-out, and a moment of Paul defending his older
brother is the emotional highlight of the film. The supporting cast,
from Robert Forster to Michael Douglas, seem to be trying their best
to make this a real movie. And they pretty much succeed despite the
formulaic narrative at play. It helps to have a real director, and
Mark Waters (he of Mean Girls, the best movie ever made about high
school girls) once again elicits terrific performances to help
somewhat redeem a stock romantic comedy (re - Just Like Heaven).

But in the end, it is just another story about a ladies-man learning
that having tons of consensual sex with willing partners is a huge
character flaw and a sign of darker personal demons. We're once again
told that women aren't smart enough to know when they are just rolling
in the hay with an obvious playboy, thus Conner is responsible for
countless heartbreaks and tears. And once again we're led to believe
that a guy would have been happy forever more if he had just married
his preschool sweetheart right from the get-go (sure plenty of happy
couples met that early, but must that be the finale to so many
romantic comedies?). It's something that's long bugged me about
romantic comedies, but at least this is a relatively entertaining
variation on that old hat moral.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past is a surprisingly entertaining presentation
of a sour package. But if you know what you're getting into, it's
funny and well-acted, with equal laughs for the actors and actresses
both. While I wish that McConaughy would do more varied work in the
vein of Frailty, Sahara, and Lone Star, this is certainly a step up
from Fool's Gold and the like.

Grade: B-