Review: Drag Me to Hell (2009)

[Jerry Saravia]

DRAG ME TO HELL (2009)
Reviewed by Jerry Saravia
RATING: Two stars

Drag me out of this movie. Sam Raimi's horror-comedy "Drag Me to Hell"
puts more spin into horror than the comedy, which would be acceptable
had the horror been something more than a vomitous creature and a
bland, real-estate heroine with lots of fire and brimstone special-
effects. And for comedy, well, we have vomit, worms and a mean goat!
These are traditional Raimi touches but they are not very hellishly
funny.

Alison Lohman is Christine Brown, a bank loan officer who denies an
old Gypsy woman an extension on her house (timely topic indeed).
Needless to say, the old Gypsy woman doesn't take this very well after
she tries to bite her and beat her to a pulp in a parking garage!
(Hey, don't shame a Gypsy who begs on her knees.) Unfortunately,
Christine has been cursed by this ravaged, cretinous woman with the
help of a coat button! How apropos yet Christine is not prepared for
the torment and physical pain she will endure. We are talking about
demonic shadows that creep around during the day and at night, violent
dreams that involve the Gypsy woman vomiting ungodly things into
Christine's mouth, flies that try to penetrate her skin, nosebleeds
that lead to spraying people with blood, and an assortment of other
tortures from Raimi's Evil Dead arsenal.

Unfortunately for us, none of this is any bloody fun. Lohman is so
fluffy and blandly inconsequential an actress that she would make
white bread moldy by just looking at it. Some early scenes with her
boyfriend (Justin Long, unconvincing as a professor) show promise,
especially when we learn that her boyfriend's mother disapproves of
her. And there is some compassion developed early on about her
promised job as an assistant manager that feels genuine. Raimi (who
wrote this film) abandon all hope of a strong character study for the
sake of aimless bloody thrills and chills. Lohman emotes a singular
gaping expression every time she is frightened or thrown around like a
rag doll (only her scene at a graveyard seems to elicit more of a
Bruce Campbell wickedness than anything else in the movie). Raimi amps
up the soundtrack with creaky noises and a chorus of screeching
sounds, but to what avail when we could care less about Christine?

"Drag Me to Hell" aims to be an "Evil Dead"-type film but it lacks
thrust and purpose and a better lead. Bruce Campbell in the "Evil
Dead" pictures was in on the joke but he also made us watch and recoil
at everything he encountered - he and Raimi made more inspired,
inventive horror films that became Three-Stooges-like cartoons. Lohman
also makes one recoil but we quickly lose interest in a largely
unsympathetic and witless character (I will not describe what happens
to a certain pet). I am all for a Raimi horror pic that abounds with
bad taste and wicked humor. This is the first time from Raimi that I
was only left with a bad taste.


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