Review: 2012 (2009)

[Tim Voon]

Film Review - 2012 made 2009
By Tim Voon
3 out of 5 stars

Think of every disaster movie you have ever seen put it all together
in a cauldron and add the whiz bang magical ingredient of the latest
special effects and you have the big bang of a movie 2012.

Remember the eruptive forces of VOLCANO 2007 and DANTE's PEAK 2007,
well they peter at a weak 3-4 on the Richter Scale whilst this movie
explodes at the high end 9's, screaming "look at me, I am the biggest,
baddest disaster movie ever." I have to say that the obliteration of
Yellow Stone National Park by a volcano is the most impressive
explosion I have seen to date. Then there was DEEP IMPACT 1998,
remember that enormous wave of water about to engulf New York City,
well this is outdone by Tsunamis' towering over the Himalayan
mountains of Tibet, is if not excessive at least memorable. I can list
other comparisons - the destruction of cities by aliens in WAR OF THE
WORLDS 2005 or the ground breaking INDEPENDANCE DAY 1996, seems small
compared to how this movie with great length (almost 3hrs) and detail,
shows us how to rip every stone, brick, block, house, car, sky
scraper, White House, Casino, Cathedral, Statue of Christ, major city
with memorable land mark you can think of apart, with great relish and
pomp.

As for the reasons for all this destruction? Well it is based on an
old Mayan Prophecy that every 650,000 years when all the planets align
with the Sun, death to all life as we know it on Earth will occur.
Remember the dinosaurs, well they were the last inhabitants to be made
extinct and now it is our turn in the year 2012.  Personally, I prefer
the meteorite theory of ARMAGEDDON 1998 or the dying core theory of
THE CORE 2003 or the solar flare theory of SUNSHINE 2007 and KNOWING
2009 or even the fluffy global warming theory of THE DAY AFTER
TOMORROW 2004.  However, to say that some neutrinos being admitted by
the Sun is causing the earth's core to melt and thus the tectonic
plates to become unstable and shift, is like asking me to believe that
the earth is flat and we all live on the back of a tortoise that
floats through space and time.

Besides this weak plot line, there is an awful lot of unnecessary
clutter of relationships thrown into this movie, which really slows it
down. For example between the American President (Danny Glover) and
his daughter (the lovely Thandie Newton) is probably surmised to a
phone call along the lines of "can you forgive me" moments before the
Washington Memorial comes crashing through the Oval Office. Or the
annoying relationship between Amanda Peet and John Cusack, which is
reminiscent to WAR OF THE WORLDS - divorced parents with two children
who are thrown into a contrived disaster where the kids hate their
dad, until he becomes the hero that saves them all. Or a rehash of the
ending of the POSEIDON 2006 where John Cusack's sacrifice is almost
identical to that of Kurt Russell's dilemma of whether to drown or
save the day. You will find cliché after cliché flooding this movie as
quickly as the rising waters and sinking earth decimate the human
population of planet Earth.

I viewed this movie at V Max Village Cinemas where the screen is twice
the size of an average screen and the sound reverberates through your
body and believe me there is A LOT of sound. If you are noise
sensitive or are worried about having your hearing damaged, avoid this
movie. Overall, the special effects and visual stupendousness of this
movie places it high on the 4/5 scale but the cheesy storyline and
repetitive clichés places it low on the 2/5 in my books. Overall, I
would say that I was entertained but not entirely satisfied by this
movie.


Website - filmnet.com
Email - winklebeck @hotmail.com