Review: 2012 (2009)

[Homer Yen]

"2012" - Disaster Packaged Nicely
by Homer Yen
(c) 2009

If it's Director Ronald Emmerich, then it's the end of the world as we
know it.  This is the man who brought moviegoers apocalyptic popcorn
fare such as "Independence Day" and "The Day After".  I did very much
like "Independence Day" because unified patriotism never seemed more
gallant.  And, at least in "The Day After", there was a father's love
that ran deep.  "2012" made me think that no one was really worth
saving.  That must have been ok with the Director, though.  In an
interview by USA Today, Roland Emmerich stated that this will be his
final disaster film: "I said to myself that I'll do one more disaster
movie, but it has to end all disaster movies. So I packed everything
in."

Look for the hints of soon-to-come global destruction.  There are the
ominous warnings from scientists.  Government leaders have that wildly
concerned look.  We hear that eerie music that foretells of bad things
to come.  We've seen this set up so many times (and to be fair, there
really isn't any other way to do it), but it would've been novel if
pop-up thought bubbles appeared to alert viewers like in the VH1 music
video show.

The list of how the Earth gets pummeled is long indeed.  It starts
with some astrophysical phenomena that alarmingly raises the number of
neutrinos that are hitting the Earth.  Then, the core of the planet
begins to heat up, which will cause massive tectonic shifts and decay
of the Earth's crust.  On a more personally devastating scale,
earthquakes and tsunamis and volcanic eruptions and just about
anything else other than the moon colliding with the Earth happens.

The impending doom is known by only a select few in the government.
They furiously orchestrate a plan to save humanity.  But at what cost?
 We have a chance to inject a lesson on morality here or to give some
insight into the marvels of engineering.  But the film treats these
potential threads as just throwaway ideas.  Instead, it focuses on a
dysfunctional family, with irresponsible dad, Jackson Curtis (John
Cusack); estranged wife, Kate (Amanda Peete); and their two kids who
have this constant look on their faces as if they are about to go to
the dentist.  As far as the
family-hoping-to-survive-amid-global-disaster lot goes, the script
that these people have is so predictable that you can almost tell what
they are going to say before they say it.

The film experience is really a mixed bag.  And, I think that the film
could have been great if it was like a stoner comedy or a buddy film.
In fact, early on, there is an extremely entertaining over-the-top
sequence as a massive earthquake hits.  Jackson and his family try to
race out of their neighborhood.  They have to outrun all sorts of
obstacles as they make their way to the airport, including
disintegrating roads and toppling highways.  Once they miraculously
make it and they board a plane, it gets as good as one of those
Universal Studio rides in Florida.  If we only could've added some
moving seats, strobe lights, and 3D glasses!  When you have these
thrills and bizarre characters like the conspiracy-reporter (Woody
Harrelson), "2012" is nothing short of campy fun!  It's certainly not
a great film.  But it gives you what you expect.

Grade: B-

S:	1 out of 3
L:	1 out of 3
V:	1 out of 3